mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
