I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
