I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
