Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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