i love accidental penises.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
