That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
