Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
