How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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