pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
