Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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