love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
