You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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