Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize