What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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