Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
