no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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