i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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