I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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