What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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