I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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