Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
