i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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