the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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