I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
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I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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