you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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