Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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