hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.