thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know