I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.