Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.

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(973): i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/umpc

Replies (15) Good night (781) Bad night (2489)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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(856): i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again. http://tfl.nu/ts1b

Replies (17) Good night (636) Bad night (2368)
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(248): View more from Michigan

windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam

(630): View more from Illinois

no, it is just poor

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(248): windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam (630): no, it is just poor http://tfl.nu/96gb

Replies (75) Good night (820) Bad night (2596)
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(305): View more from Florida

he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.

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(305): he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me. http://tfl.nu/04rv

Replies (32) Good night (5213) Bad night (1894)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...

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(701): My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this... http://tfl.nu/7jfd

Replies (70) Good night (6301) Bad night (1249)
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(561): View more from Florida

george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.

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(561): george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it. http://tfl.nu/x2j0

Replies (159) Good night (6068) Bad night (2084)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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(704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux

Replies (14) Good night (5379) Bad night (1054)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.

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(678): Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina. http://tfl.nu/qhn3

Replies (11) Good night (749) Bad night (3578)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.

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(919): The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out. http://tfl.nu/a3dj

Replies (13) Good night (1006) Bad night (3052)
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(816): View more from Missouri

peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time

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(816): peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/fl0l

Replies (6) Good night (1881) Bad night (1344)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen

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(814): DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen http://tfl.nu/glfa

Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (2228)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.

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(419): Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation. http://tfl.nu/zsht

Replies (2) Good night (1920) Bad night (557)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.

(571): View more from Virginia

I'd say they're off to a great start!

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(703): Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles. (571): I'd say they're off to a great start! http://tfl.nu/1lyt

Replies (4) Good night (2152) Bad night (542)
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(719): View more from Colorado

There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.

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(719): There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans. http://tfl.nu/qyi6

Replies (5) Good night (572) Bad night (1115)
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(347): View more from New York

The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

(973): View more from New Jersey

That does not seem like timing

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(347): The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is? (973): That does not seem like timing http://tfl.nu/n0dp

Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (557)

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