Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.

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(937): you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with. http://tfl.nu/ct1p

Replies (40) Good night (6023) Bad night (1010)
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(559): View more from California

today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.

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(559): today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus. http://tfl.nu/murq

Replies (73) Good night (1218) Bad night (4412)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day

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(502): Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day http://tfl.nu/ab75

Replies (13) Good night (1138) Bad night (4932)
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(404): View more from Georgia

you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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(404): you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are. http://tfl.nu/yq64

Replies (9) Good night (7195) Bad night (1390)
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(303): View more from Colorado

New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.

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(303): New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar. http://tfl.nu/vp4p

Replies (7) Good night (6479) Bad night (1149)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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(732): You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name. http://tfl.nu/cvf5

Replies (18) Good night (6657) Bad night (1309)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night

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(404): Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night http://tfl.nu/nrlr

Replies (12) Good night (7236) Bad night (1048)
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(01): View more from

He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.

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(01): He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates. http://tfl.nu/mdzx

Replies (6) Good night (2943) Bad night (967)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

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(952): She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high. http://tfl.nu/dd7j

Replies (2) Good night (944) Bad night (642)
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(518): View more from New York

Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.

(1-518): View more from New York

Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.

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(518): Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit. (1-518): Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger. http://tfl.nu/7ysx

Replies (3) Good night (1848) Bad night (503)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.

(404): View more from Georgia

We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.

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(678): Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to. (404): We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit. http://tfl.nu/4kzw

Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (774)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them

(937): View more from Ohio

Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

Sounds legit to me.

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(937): I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops. (1-937): Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them (937): Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them. (1-937): Sounds legit to me. http://tfl.nu/dn4f

Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (402)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas

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(780): I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas http://tfl.nu/5l5x

Replies (6) Good night (696) Bad night (366)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.

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(307): Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen. http://tfl.nu/bs4y

Replies (0) Good night (716) Bad night (227)
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(972): View more from Texas

I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened

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(972): I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened http://tfl.nu/v86f

Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (135)

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