it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.