i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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