Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free

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(303): This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free http://tfl.nu/nn6t

Replies (8) Good night (3028) Bad night (683)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.

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(405): Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one. http://tfl.nu/zdto

Replies (45) Good night (5297) Bad night (608)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

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(816): I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now http://tfl.nu/vuci

Replies (23) Good night (1456) Bad night (3077)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.

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(401): he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys. http://tfl.nu/w8m7

Replies (28) Good night (1776) Bad night (6851)
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(410): View more from Maryland

just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

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(410): just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks. http://tfl.nu/gf3t

Replies (13) Good night (6199) Bad night (1374)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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(303): I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away http://tfl.nu/qpjo

Replies (8) Good night (6690) Bad night (932)
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(650): View more from California

at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

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(650): at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running http://tfl.nu/xnze

Replies (5) Good night (836) Bad night (2338)
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(914): View more from New York

The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.

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(914): The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients. http://tfl.nu/y7zq

Replies (5) Good night (1984) Bad night (624)
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(714): View more from California

It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.

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(714): It's a self-perpetuating puke chain. http://tfl.nu/kvdz

Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (1432)
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(850): View more from Florida

Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"

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(850): Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere" http://tfl.nu/ju0a

Replies (9) Good night (3503) Bad night (985)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.

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(304): Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms. http://tfl.nu/onlr

Replies (5) Good night (2008) Bad night (466)
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(503): View more from Oregon

You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.

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(503): You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before. http://tfl.nu/c801

Replies (13) Good night (1101) Bad night (611)
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(469): View more from Texas

I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5

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(469): I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5 http://tfl.nu/xzh8

Replies (10) Good night (866) Bad night (756)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me

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(334): I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me http://tfl.nu/iy9q

Replies (6) Good night (669) Bad night (508)
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(812): View more from Indiana

This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick

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(812): This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick http://tfl.nu/hypd

Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (541)

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