Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize