Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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