going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
