I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
