So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
