i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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