How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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