Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
