are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
