and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
