Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
