The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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