I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
