Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
