Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
