There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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