I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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