Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
