I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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