Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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