Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize