i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Holy sore nipples Batman
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
