Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
