i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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