i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
