dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
