If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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