Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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