Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
