I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize