I'm really into asian looking animals
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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