the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
