4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize