i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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