I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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